Things That Shouldn't Be Archives

May 21, 2006

Trojan No More

I kind of got the chills when I saw this video.

Less chilling is this amateur video of the event. They couldn't have used a tripod?!

Sad sad sad.

April 23, 2007

Team Rocket is Blasting Off Again

June 8, 2007

Discover Debt Collectors Shamelessly Harass Woman into Committing Suicide

Consumerist reports on the scum debt collectors who will cheat, swear, steal and lie to get your money. This time they directed their idiotic lies towards a bi-polar woman who decided the only way out of debt was to take herself out of this world.

Debt collectors working in-house for Discovery (thereby saving Discover from FDCPA claims), allegedly threated Ms. MacDermid with (among other things) jail time, going so far as to make up a relationship with the local prosecutor's office. Here is what they said, according to the decision:

* had spoken with a lady named "Harriott" who had told her that, under the facts described above, Mr. MacDermid is legally liable for his wife's charge card; and
* that she had filed a report with the Giles County Sheriff's office; and
* that Harriott Barkly of the Giles County District Attorney's office, advised her that because the MacDermids were married, and because Mr. MacDermid was aware of his wife's problem, he "should keep a better eye on her" and should "keep her away from the internet"; and
* [that Adonica Gilmore stated about Mrs. MacDermid,] "I don't think you want her going . . . well you know"; and
* that there was no need for him to talk to a lawyer, because, even though there was no signature, and it was procured on the Internet, Mrs. MacDermid's application is binding on Mr. MacDermid, and he is definitely liable; and
* that [Adonica Gilmore stated], if the matter could not be resolved, "I'll just call Harriott" . . . and have the authorities "take a little trip out to your house."

These lies convinced Ms. MacDermid she had no choice but to take her life to save her husband from the debt she racked up.

Way to go Discover! Your fantastic treatment of mentally ill people has ensured that I and many others will never use your products.

June 17, 2007

Security Guards Rescue Kitten

One kitten considers two rent-a-cops heroes today, after they saved a kitten from certain death at the hands of a demented, twisted, hell-bound couple.

Two security guards in Texas rescued a flea-bitten kitten from an unpleasant death on the railroad tracks at the hands of a young couple.

John Hernandez and Jacob Salinas told The San Antonio Express-News they spotted the couple with the kitten early Thursday. After the couple left, Hernandez and Salinas said they found the kitten with its hind legs tied to the tracks....

The guards attempted to chase down the couple, but were threatened when the couple retrieved a gun out of their trunk. Mr. Hernandez has taken the kitty in, and local police are looking for the couple.

Quick quiz: What fate should fall upon this young, depraved couple.

A) Jail time, community service, and a hefty fine
B) Finding themselves with their legs tied to railroad tracks
C) Being eaten to death by hungry lions

Ha ha ha. Trick question! The answer is B THEN C!

Soft Drink Hall of Shame: Pibb Xtra

In today's Soft Drink Hall of Shame segment, we feature Hall of Shamer Pibb Xtra. (See what I did there. I pretended like we've done this before!)

Pibb Xtra is Coca-Cola's answer to Dr. Pepper... yet another showcase of originality from the people who brought you Mello Yello, Tab Clear, and Coke Blāk. (Sorry!) Originally called Mr. PiBB, the drink was reformulated and renamed Pibb Xtra for the new millennium. Although it's a semi-passable Dr. Pepper clone, Pibb Xtra is a Hall of Shamer because after six years, nearly everyone still calls it Mr. PiBB.

Where is the Coca-Cola marketing department on this one? Does Coca-Cola have some bizarre ritual where they retire old names and don't allow for their reuse? Does that explain Vault (pretty much tastes like Surge) and Coca-Cola Classic (why still Classic after twenty years?) Whatever.

June 21, 2007

John Travolta is a Straight Man

June 22, 2007

Old WB'er JJ is a Straight Man

He butters it both ways these days.

UPDATE: His boyfriend is a lot prettier than his last one. And by last one I mean Cheryl.

June 24, 2007

Our Neighbor Has won a Nobel Prize

Our neighbor has won the Nobel Prize for excellent parking. Not only can she not park straight in her spot, but she also parks over the line and slightly into my spot every single day. I park as far away from other cars as possible, but she seems to think that just means she gets to encroach on my space even more.

I am frankly not sure what to do to remedy this. I do not want to deal with her and her husband directly; I don't need the drama, they don't speak English, and also they are obviously stupid. I have complained three times to the apartment management who aren't doing anything. I asked the people on Yahoo! Answers who told me I should bring them a present. (I'm not kidding!)

What do I do? Any suggestions gang? By gang I mean my family, hopefully Timmy, and the mysterious Itobun.

July 2, 2007

Hansa's Virus

So, it turns out Hansa died from a completely new, undiscovered strain of Herpes. Shouldn't it be named after her then? Or is that morbid?

October 21, 2007

New Christian Movie

What would happen if you took the storyline of Prince of Egypt, but replaced it with the inferior voice acting of Christian Slater, and computer animation stolen from Civilization III. This is the answer:

Stunningly awful. This may be the worst Christian film of all time, and that in itself is a pretty big feat.

October 23, 2007

I'm Confused

I'm confused. This guy isn't gay? I mean, it is a guy right?

January 2, 2008

Faith Hill Has an Awesome Album Cover

Why does her new album look like it was designed by someone in junior high? Lens flare, FTW!

About Things That Shouldn't Be

This page contains an archive of all entries posted to marchdecember in the Things That Shouldn't Be category. They are listed from oldest to newest.

Teh Awesome! is the previous category.

To Protect and Serve... Themselves is the next category.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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