marchdecember

I don't know how old this is, but you really shouldn't watch it anywhere where you can't laugh out loud.

From Channel 8 in Dallas. Don't watch it at work. This aired on Live TV.

Today:

A couple of strange calls to 911, from the Tonight Show.

Speaking of 911 calls, here's a 911 call... is it real though?

On a much less humorous note, the emphasis on 911 calls is due to my research into 9/11 conspiracy theories. Some of them just defy common sense. Americans would do well to head over to Youtube or Google Video or whatever and watch the footage of 9/11 again. I think even those of us who support the "War on Terror" have forgotten how horrible that day was.

Not that it deserves it, but the new movie Basic Instinct 2: Something Or Other is getting universally awful reviews. That means they'll have to rely on Whatshisname from the Sixty Second movie reviews. He'll say anything.

Anyway, there aren't many reviews yet, but I thought we could help the distributors of Basic Instinct 2 by helping them find good quotes to put on their ads. It turns out that there aren't many to find about a two-hour raunchfest featuring a 48 year old naked woman. But that doesn't mean we can't creatively manufacture some!

Check out this review at Moviehole.net.

Here's some excerpts:

At 48, Sharon Stone looks terrific.

Ladies and Gents, here’s a weak-a** “Taggart” episode, but with that remarkable music theme from “Basic Instinct” played over it, so you don’t notice.

Morrissey may have well been a pillow; he would’ve produced about as much heat in the bedroom scenes.

The Joe Eszterhas-written original wasn’t a fantastic film, but it was an enjoyable one.

Awesome, we have a lot to work with here. Here we go...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm genius!

Today's Videos of the Day are brought to you by:
The Letter R.

Oh my... somebody got a Nintendo 64 for Christmas. I wonder how he will react. "Nintendo Sixty-FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOURRRRRR!" Seriously, if you never watch another video from here again, you HAVE to watch this one.

An oldie but a goodie.

Somebody got inside the Superdome and took pictures. I guess the place is still filled with mold and mildew. Here's a pic of the bathroom.

That looks pretty bad, huh? But it turns out that's just what the men's bathroom looks like in New Orleans.

April Fools Day!

It's the videos of the day!

What happens when some really talented people play the gigantor keyboard at FAO Schwartz? Awesomeness ensues.

Godzilla wants you all in check. Or whatever. Really funny and then gets kinda old fast.

"YEAH! I'm about to win the race! I'm gonna totally celebrate too soon!"

I love it!

"Safeway" is the first word I ever read. I was trouble as a kid. For the first time since 1982, Safeway has decided to change their logo. This was the OLD logo that is still seen on most of their stores.

Even the new store they built down the street this year uses this logo, despite being built after Safeway rolled out a brand new, more modern logo.

Well, they finally put one of these logos on the Safeway in Kenmore. To be honest, it just doesn't look good. Jennifer figured it out though. The S just looks bizarre and lonely in the new logo. Kinda like this:

It looks like the Showgirls logo! S is for Showgirls! AHHHHHHH!

Update: Apparently the Showgirls logo was inspired by Sense by some guy named Tono Stano.

If you were able to stomach this week's Smallville, you may have noticed that Lex Luthor now has a blog. You can see it here. These week one of his project leaders writes:

Subject: WELCOME
Time: 9:00:00 GMT
Author: prjctmrc2africa (global mission leader)

Thank you for mobilizing on such short notice for this project. As you have no doubt been advised by your team leaders, breaking the seal on your mission documents has obligated you to the strictest confidentiality. Your only means of communication with me will be via this blog. Mr. Luthor and members of his scientific team will also be monitoring the proceedings through the blog, video updates from me and the chief archaeologist, and the images you upload.

BORING! It turns out that Lex has his own blog too, but he doesn't share it with just anyone. Here's what Lex had to say this week.

Date: April 13th, 2006
Author: lexluthor241
Currently Listening to: Five for Fighting

OMG, that hot girl just walked in! I bet she wants to do it. I'm totally going to put those pictures up on MySpace!!! TTYL!

Weird. Lex better watch out, cause after all that partying Clark did in Metropolis, Lana might just have SuperSyphilis. Ick.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Don't look at this mom and/or sister!!!

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