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September 30, 2004

Beware the Terrorist Tax

I went to AT&T Wireless today because my new Nokia 3200 is a cool phone but is the most easily scratched consumer product on earth. And Nokia doesn't offer replacement covers, even though they're made to be taken off by consumers. I walked in to see if they knew where I could get new ones. They didn't know, but while I was in there, there was this livid fat man who was upset about his bill. When they explained some of the costs were taxes, he claimed that soon they were going add the Bush Terrorist Tax.

"I can't stand that guy. He makes my blood boil," he cried loudly. I was going to be in line for at least a few more minutes, so I went for it.

"Why, because he raises taxes so much?"
"No, he, uh, he doesn't."
"Well, you just said he would raise a terrorist tax."
"Oh, that's a joke," his wife explained.
"I just can't stand him," he cried. "He's a liar!"
"What has he lied about?"
"Oh, the war, WMD."
"Really? I mean, he had faulty intelligence, but that's not really lying."
"But the evidence was cooked up by Cheney and his cronies!" he claimed.
"How do you know that?" I asked. "Do you have proof?"
"I just know! I wish I had proof, but I just know he lied!"

I had tried to keep things cool and calm, but by now he had starting moving around the store, flailing his hands about, shaking his head. He was obviously frustrated that his solid unshakable evidence wasn't convincing me. I must have been a partisan hack.

Figuring I didn't want to escalate things further, I simply responded by shaking my head and saying "huh, okay." Not that I wouldn't have enjoyed seeing him get more upset, but I didn't want to get kicked out before I got my question answered.

I wanted to ask him if, without proof, he was little more than a conspiracy theorist. After all, I can claim Bill Clinton had Vince Foster killed. I could, and I could say I just KNEW it, in my heart of hearts. But that doesn't make it true. It doesn't make me look credible, it just makes me look like a loon.

Not a winning strategy people.

Posted by March at September 30, 2004 10:30 PM

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