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April 14, 2005

My Experience With Zoloft

Tuesday I went to the doctor. I told him I was feeling very irritable. He asked me if I was feeling detached from friends and family. I said yes, that's true. I haven't even been very close to Jennifer lately. He asked if I felt helpless. I said that was true, I felt out of control. He asked if I felt hopeless. I said no, if I was hopeless, I wouldn't have come to the doctor. He asked if I felt suicidal. I said no, I don't have those kinds of thoughts. I'm not a quitter in that respect. He asked if this has been interfering in my life, and I said yes... I had just graduated from college, and I wasn't getting anywhere in my job search, I felt like there was a brick wall I couldn't get past.

So he says "Hold on, I'm going to bring you some stuff that will have you good as new in no time!!!!!!!!!" Seriously, he was really, really excited. I have never seen anybody that excited in my life. He has this big Asian grin on his face. He was the nicest doctor I have ever met. I really like him. I like everybody now, pretty much.

So Jennifer and I were like "what's going on?" We found this low-cost community health center down the street, and I honestly thought it was some holistic naturopathic junk or something. So we were wondering if he was bringing back some herbs or maybe a tarantula leg diluted 8,000,000,000,000,000 times in water. But you know, the water REMEMBERS!

Anyway, what he came back with was a bag full of Zoloft. Which was fine by me. I took some when I got home and by the end of that night I was already starting to feel the effects.

Tuesday night, I felt a rush of adrenaline, and I was sick to my stomach. I couldn't get to sleep. In fact, I didn't sleep at all until 10AM on Wednesday, and even then I only slept for two hours before I went to pick Jennifer up from school.

I have absolutely no idea what transpired on Wednesday. I was really sick. I'm extremely sleepy, but can't actually get to sleep. Jennifer gave me some Benadryl.

When I woke up this morning, I felt really good, though I wasn't really sure how I got into bed. I have TONS of energy. Unfortunately there are periods where I have no energy, where I suddenly get really exhausted and a little sad. As I write this, I'm feeling this exact emotion. I have no idea what I'm feeling sad about. It's just a sadness. After a minute or two I have energy again, and I'm rockin' out or doing something crazy.

During my sleepless daze on Wednesday, I got so much energy that I moved the television and all the stereo equipment to the corner of the room to make it easier for Jennifer and I to cuddle up on the couch.

Anyway, I'm feeling less irritable, but from time to time I feel dizzy and I'm so exhausted right now I have no motivation to even conclude this entry. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

I will continue to update you all as to how I feel about this wonder drug. I did not want to use it, but I think Jennifer was about to kill me if I didn't do something.

Posted by March at April 14, 2005 11:11 PM

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