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Harry Potter is STILL in the Cupboard

Enter Harry Potter. Millions have read the saga of the boy who lived. For eleven years he was tormented by an abusive foster family, until one day he escaped. Rubeus Hagrid came knocking to take him away to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Or did he?

What if Harry never left the cupboard beneath the stairs? Lily and James Potter were killed in a tragic accident, leaving their only child to Lily's sister. Harry Potter lived with his controlling, abusive foster parents for eleven years before he escaped to a magical world... a magical world in Harry's mind.

Harry Potter, after eleven years of mental and verbal abuse, is a victim of disassociative disorder. In order to cope, Harry has created a world in his mind where he can escape to. In the real world, Harry is a literal nobody. But in the wizarding world, Harry isn't just accepted... he's famous. He can do no wrong. Every year he saves the day, with the help of an incredibly powerful wizard and father figure, Albus Dumbledore.

In the wizarding world, Harry's parents weren't killed in a tragic automobile accident. They were killed by the most evil wizard ever... a man so powerful that others dare not speak his name. Harry's mysterious scar, likely a result of the accident that killed his parents, turns out to be a curse scar that allows Harry to sense the presence (and eventually emotions) of Lord Voldemort.

Compared to the lonely existence Harry leads inside the cupboard, Harry is instead a popular Gryffindor: leader of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Triwizard Champion, backed up by his two best friends Ron and Hermione.

Harry is an expert seeker in a sport called Quidditch: an invented sport that has some resemblence to soccer, but is supposedly played on brooms.

But none of these things are real. They are all figments of Harry's vivid imagination. Convienently, Harry can't perform magic while living with the Dursleys. The Dursleys have, with the exception of Ron Weasley and family, never met any of Harry's friends and associates. (Weasley himself lives with a large family of largely homeschooled siblings raised by two financially insecure parents whose idea of birth control is the rhythm method. He himself is likely living in a fantasy world.)

Eventually, sick of the abuse he endures at home, he runs away (while on vacation) with a large, hairy man. When he returns, he claims that he will be going away to a special school for wizards. And he does indeed go... taking a train to St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys.

Preposterous you say? What about the six years of magical adventures told from Harry's point of view? But what is more likely? That Harry Potter is an eleven year old with an overactive imagination, and a desperate need to escape his horrible reality? Or that Harry Potter is part of a secret society of wizards who live among us undetected?

Poor, poor Harry.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on December 24, 2005 4:16 PM.

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